paper whore.

that's right, i said it! i'm a paper whore. i will climb over any number of innocent bystanders to get to the newest and coolest paper product. i.am.a.whore. {ha!}

yesterday was my first day of my very first trade show i have ever been to... and yes, it is everything i anticipated it to be and more! see, i set unusually high expectations for everything in my life. i am completely aware this is a self destructive quality, yet i remain steadfast in setting those expectations. but i look at this was... if you don't set the bar high, no one will push to get to the top. i'm just givin' a push... the NSS show has pushed back and i'm simply amazed. one may even say awestruck!

but back to what is at hand at the moment. i'm here in new york city! i've been dying to be here for this very reason for years! dare i say, this is a dream come true?! because it is!!!! and after a lot of disappoint from other areas in my life, i'm taking it in and enjoying it to its fullest.

i can't wait to get going today to see what new "super cute" stuff i come across. {if i say super cute today as much as i did yesterday... i'm going to turn into an effing kitten!}

once again... keep up with me and swampy on GirlsonBlogs and my Mac Gallery for my latest nonsensical adventures with Indy as we take on NYC!


Indy's Debut

i've been trying to come up with something clever to post but it's just not coming to me... call it writers block or call it exhaustion.

here's the just...
1. you'll never guess where i'm at?! New York City! {surprised?! yeah, me too!!}
2. i've been here for one day and have posted pictures here. go head, click the link... i know you wanna see!
3. also, if you are not aware. swampy and i have a mobile blog, Girls On Blogs. I've been posting pictures on there as well.
4. my swell friend, dr. bruce, gave me a rockin' little toy to trek the streets of NYC with... Indiana Jones is my new side kick! he made his debut at Red House Lounge on friday night. he's a suacey little guy.


i said good day!

sometime in the first few days at this job, i drew this little guy to make me smile every morning when i sat down at my desk because i dreaded this place so so very much. he's stuck with me... through the boredom, the tears, the laughs and the annoying coworkers who would ask such stupid questions about him. {doesn't everyone have a work buddy? jeez.} he's been my monday to friday, 8am to 5pm rock. and now it's time for he and i to hit the road.

the personal files have been loaded to my flash drive, all my cookies have been deleted, the speakers and headphones are wrapped up, my extra stash of snacks have be thrown to the scavengers, i've hidden my favorite pens in my purse, trashed all the paperwork covering my work surface, my watering hole has been disassembled, and all my paper goodies are stashed away in my satchel. the desk is clean. the office is quiet. and bitches... i'm outta here!!!

tallyho armstrong mccall...tallyho!

word of the day.

and by word of the day, i mean words never to be used in my presence. i know... i ask alot.

accost \ə-ˈkst, -ˈkäst\
transitive verb

from the french word accoster, but ultimately from Latin ad- + costa
date 1597

to approach and speak to often in a challenging or aggressive way

here... i'll use it in a sentence: and he said, ' i was accoted by her and her courger-ish ways.'

*mauled is not an acceptable alternative.


all the things i want...

because green is the new black!

one of my favorite companies, Rock Scissor Paper, has designed these organic totes to add a little cuteness to your shopping bag.


when my SBJ died, people told me "Everything happens for a reason, Angela." i sometimes think people don't hear themselves when they speak and how they come across, or the context that they are applying these said sentiments. or maybe they just say what they've been programed to say. either way... i have constantly been on this search to find my reason for losing my husband.

for a while, i thought it honestly had nothing to do with me. i thought the reason was maybe for my SBJ's sister {her and her husbands lives changed tremendously for the better after we lost him} and because of that i was even more angered. honestly, i wanted it to be about me. after all, i was the one that lost my life partner.... the man who loved me without fail, the man i was suppose to have babies with, the man that i was supposed to build a life with, the man i was supposed to grow old with, the man who had all my life dreams wrapped up in him. i wanted it to be about me... selfish, i know.

through my search to figure all this out, i was fortunate enough to find someone else to share my days with... i thought i had found my reason in this someone; a love i had never felt before was suppose to come to me and take care of me and make everything right again. but i was wrong. i was wrong to think that someone else could take on the responsibility of defining my reason. for one, this is no one's battle but my own, a hard truth i have come to face. and for another, when i give someone else that power, they can take it away. which can hurt the most. now that more time has passed and i have had the opportunity to see things in a different manner, i have found MY reason, and it can not be taken away from me. no matter what, it IS mine.

losing my SBJs happened to me because i was to gain perspective. some of you have heard me talk about this in such depths that i'm sure you could put ear muffs on and still know what my exact point is by the time the conversation is done. but i look at it as my gift. my badge of courage. as conceited, or smug, or pompous as it may sound... i am proud of myself for the perspective i have gained. i get it. i think people spend their entire lives searching for some understanding of life, and how lucky am i that i understand a bit of it at 27. i get to apply that to the rest of my days. to me, that's amazing!

even though the five years i spent with my SBJ's was a short amount of time and, honestly, not always perfect {man, could we fight!}... i experienced some of the best characteristics a person could possibly posses. and for that i am lucky to have loved, and been loved, by him.

i am coming of out this a better person. a more prepared being. someone able to asses life in a manner that only comes with life experience. again, i am the lucky one.

all the things i buy...

knock knock?... who's the there?... the best To Do notepad, EVER!

la pensée de la semaine.

since i've woken up this morning, i feel like the seams are coming undone. why now, why today? i could literally bust into tears right at this moment. for what reason? i have no clue.

maybe i'm scared. you know... that kind of scared that stops you dead in your tracks. the kind that paralyzes you to take that proverbial step forward. i've been here before. it was easier to give into it then. i truly try my hardest to live everyday with the most umph that i can muster up inside myself. some days i fall completely short, other days i take chance after chance. today seems to be one of those days that i teeter between staying still or moving forward.

... what in the hell am i doing?! i'm about to walk away from a regular paycheck, a comfortable little home, a regularly scheduled social life, a group of amazing friends, and a town i have fallen in love with. for what? ... possibilities? i have nothing concrete to settle upon. everything that i am about to change is based on possibilities. i may sometimes act like i am fearless and that is the farthest thing from the truth. those who know me have seen me fall. and i fall hard. i'm getting very tired from pulling myself up and wiping off the muck that pulls me down. i'm afraid that one of these days it is all going to get the best of me. how much more can i take? where is my breaking point?

but with all that said... how in the hell can i stand by and watch the most opportune time of my life, so far, pass me by? i have to try. i have to make the most of the things that have been given to me. i must. i refuse to live with any kind of regret. REFUSE!

it's time to take chances.


say what?

who: me

said what: pickles! JEWISH PICKLES!... uhh, Kosher Pickles. DILL PICKLES! IT'S DILL PICKLES!

in regards to: the CatchPhrase™ 'dill pickle'.



guess what i get to do?!

thanks sister no. 1, for an early birthday surprise!

{yes, i know that i posted this already but i took it down so my mother wouldn't see it because it was her mothers day gift. so, i'm bumping it to show my sister that i think that she's kinda cool.}

crunch time.

i am completely unprepared for my upcoming trip to NYC. how did this happen?! i'm the queen of organization, of planning, of preparing, and schedules, and agendas, and itineraries... where has my head been?! DAMNIT... time to take it one block at a time.

not only am i not prepped for all the sightseeing and dining out adventures for my mother and me, but i'm behind on my business prep. although... i have always worked best under pressure!! but i feel like no matter what i do, this show is going to blow me away... and it takes a lot to blow me away. and that freaks me out a little... no. wait. a lot! it freaks me out a lot. but if it didn't scare me and make me nervous... it wouldn't be worth it!

all the things i buy...

okay... so this isn't the exact table i own. but i couldn't find a pleasant picture. so, just image this table with two drawers on the front and viola!

the table pictured above is from William-Sonoma Home and yes, it's pricey but pretty! mine on the other, wasn't pricey but yet still pretty! i found mine at Target, on clearance!

i carried this bad boy all the way up the stairs, then shimmied it all the way to the bedroom. umm... mirrors are heavy. but it's the perfect piece for my bedroom TV. and when i don't feel like putting my high heels away... it's a perfect place to stash my shoes so turk can't massacre them... again.

all the things i want...

you will never guess where this is from!!! i was a little surprised when i came across this lovely curved velvet accent chair in Cottage Living, i think it was Cottage Living... but i could be wrong. there were 4 of these chairs positioned around a large coffee table and staged as a game area. very, very cozy.
personally, i would like two of them. staged as a reading nook... in my store front!!!

p.s. - it's from j.c.penny. whoa!


summer seemed to peak its sizzling, hot, little head out on friday and saturday to give us a taste of the months to come. with all the shenanigans i was involved in this weekend, i was disappointed in myself for not toting my camera around a little more. this picture by professor evil sums up the weekend perfectly!

swampy, i know this is your avatar on yelp but it was too perfect to pass up. i sowwy.


very strange how two grown men take to NKOTB so easily.



when i started sharing this blog with some of the people in my life, i told myself i could not censor what i wrote. since then, the content has changed for the most part, which i do not mind one bit, and i find myself placating what i want to say here. i am annoyed at myself for letting others dictate my own censorship of my own space. i tread lightly because i don't want to hurt others. i hold back because things can be misconstrued. but i'm done contemplating the "what ifs". the majority of the randomness and thoughts i put here is my own stream of conciseness. just words.

i hate that i said 'just words' now. i know that words are powerful. i have been naive and lived by the words some people have told me. trusted them. i've put my faith in those words. but what i have learned is that Action is what i must live by. people must show me what they mean and how they feel. i know not all are capable of that but then maybe those people are meant for me. but i need people to SHOW me their character. i need to see it. i do not need to hear words about it.

all the things i buy...

technically, i have bought it... but i just don't have it, YET!
i just placed the order for it and i should receive it by tuesday. i purchased it because i think it will be a perfect carry on and around for my trip to NYC. with the dimensions given at ModCloth, i do believe i will be able to fit all my junk in this chic little messenger bag. some may say, 'my, that's a small carry on!' and yes, for most it may be. but i HATE traveling with large, chunky bags. it is such a hassle. i can travel light and still be prepared... i think.

all the things i want...

by BellaMuse

"fear of failure renders you immobile"

do you remember those horrible inspirational posters from the 90's? beside the one hanging in Barney Stinsons office, they are beyond lame. this print by bellamuse is a bit more to the point, philosophical, and much prettier to look at.


la pensée de la semaine.

by ohsosuite

'with my mind on my money, and my money on my mind'

i'm about to make some big life leaps and the thing that keeps popping into my head is, 'damn this is gonna take a lot of money!' but what follows that thought is, 'you gotta spend money to make money.' it's a constant back and forth battle. constant! i think i've flipped flopped feeling comfortable with each position at least 5 times... today... and it's only 9am.


all the things i buy...

you betcha your bum, i bought more shoes!!! must i remind you?!

these Guess Lagoon are some hiiiigh heels for sure! almost four inches. that would make me a whopping 5'4. they make my legs look great too... like i have muscle tone. which we all know is a lie! they also come in pink, cactus, and sand. i just saw the pink and cactus and i want them!!! but i think that would be a bit of over kill. so i must show restraint.

all the things i want...

i have no idea where i found this. i am still searching for the info to share with all. by while i'm here posting, i thought i share why i like it. if you don't care, then why are you still reading?!!!

anyhow, i like this wooden hand saver because it simply looks neat. i'm not totally convinced this is the epitome of form meeting function but it would my coffee cup look good. so don't forget when you get your to go coffee cup, made from trees... do double duty and use your wooden hand saver, also made of trees!

UPDATE: I found it!!!!

say what?

who: my father

said what: angela brook, get your ass out of bed and get down here.

in regards: i have no earthly idea. but i swear i was in the twilight zone, where i am 16 years old. and my parents still get to tell me what to do because i'm under their roof.

... o wait. f**k me.

concept no.1.

i am trying to gather all my thoughts, ideas, facts, and figures for Sweet Sassafras, my most audacious adventure yet! by pulling everything together in an organized fashion, i hope it not only makes perfect sense to me, but for when i ask a bank for millions upon billions of buck to fund my dream, it makes complete and perfect sense to them.

i asked a friend of mine, Jon Sukarangsan of FortuneCookie Press, to help me out with taking the vision i have in my head and putting it out for everyone to see, exam, and understand... since i don't have time to hone up on my stellar sketching skills (ROFL)... and this is what he and i came up with as concept no. 1. it's only the rough so bare that in mind. i will update as we move along.

sweet sassafras concept no. 1

i'm pretty much over the moon about it. with a few changes here and there... it's going to be perfection!

p.s. by the way, honest thoughts, comments, and concerns would be lovely!

and she WALKED away.

sister no. 2 was in an accident a little less than two weeks ago. she literally crawled her way out the window and walked away... a little dazed and a little confused but she was walking. holy hell!


all the things i want...

i would like a do over on my weekend so that i could spend it at the downs with the ladies.

no clue, whatsoever.

i've been searching around for something special... and i have no clue, AT ALL, what i'm doing. but that's the fun part!

all the things i buy....

after weeks of trying to find a dress to the black tie event mentioned below, i made a few phone calls to gather the censuses of what the other guest would be wearing and found that a lot of the ladies would be sporting the cocktail attire. (whew! thank goodness!) so i ran out on friday and the first dress i tried on, this silk jacquard dress from white house|black market, was a ringer!!

10+ years.

Lynn Wedding 2000

while sitting in the ballroom of the Hotel Galvez this weekend, watching my lovely friend, Matter, dance the night away with her new groom, i realized that my oldest friend, emily, and i have been in that very same ballroom once, twice... maybe even three times before. i thumbed through some pictures this morning and found a picture of she and i that was taken almost 10 years ago in that very same ballroom. though em and i have been friends since 1993, the past 10 years of our lives have been a steadfast test of our friendship... i think we're doing pretty well.

Matter Wedding 2008



i am about to fall face first into my keyboard.

all the things i buy...

you bet your pet loving heart i bought john paul mitchell pet products and i love them! correction, i love using them on my pets. not on me. and i'm sure they could care less with what is lathered up on them while they stand frozen like they just stepped in smelly green chucky goo with an expression that says 'get me the f out of here right now, mom!'

anyhow. the wipes are the best! there is a formula for the ears and eyes, which is perfect for mr. gauger gaugerton. a formula for paws. and a formula for teeth. the oatmeal conditioning spray is great for adding a little moisture to dried out pet skin and a freshening up between baths.

all products are tear free and natural which is a MUST. Tested on Human First!

yay me!! IV

Natalie Dee

cokes consumed: 2...make that 3. i'm headed to the vending machine right now.
ciggies smoked: 11 {from prior weeks} , 1{ this week}
lbs lost: ?? {i haven't stepped on the scale in 7 days... it can't be good}

all the things i want...

so, i know what you gonna say... but still. i think it would be so much fun!
vroom vroom, bitches.

my bad.

i totally forgot to post yesterday. i'll try to catch up. so don't get offended if i have like eighteen post today. and just so you are aware, my hair smells pretty.