reflection.

by JacqleenBleu

my SBJ died on a sunday. for the longest time i thought sundays would forever be marked by 'today is so many weeks since he died'. thank you God, for letting life go on so i would not keep counting. even though i do find myself walking a hallway or driving a long ride and thinking to myself, 'wow, two years. i have been without him for two years. yet, i still feel like he's infused in every part of my life.

the morning of his service i showered. put on my makeup. blow dried my hair and pulled it back. i opened the closet and pulled out the black dress that i had worn only two weeks before to carolina's christening where i stood next to him, clinging so tightly to the comfort of his arms. i thanked my mother for ironing the dress while i slipped it in. i closed the clasp on my favorite set of pearls as they lay resting on my neck. pushed on the backs to the matching earrings. slipped on my black high heels and grabbed my black sunglasses and wool coat... as i walked out the hotel room, i caught my reflection in the mirror that stopped me dead in my tracks and i thought to myself, 'you were made for this. head up, baby girl... head up.' we buried him him on a wednesday.