for the past few weeks, i have put my head down and walked around as if not paying any attention that it was the beginning of a new year. to me, it was just another day. another lonely day... with more lonely days to follow. we are now 9 days into the year and i feel it is okay to come out of hiding and go on with normal business.
i did not,like most others, make any resolutions or plan on coming up with any new adventures. the ones i had last month are the ones i have today but with maybe one or two more steps accomplished. to make resolutions, i think you have to be unsatisfied with something in yourself and right now, i really don't feel that way. i lost 20 lbs in the last 4 months of last year. i accidentally picked up bikram yoga two weeks ago and it makes me feel pretty good. and i haven't had an appetite to eat much except when that monthly week comes around. a girlfriend asked when i would stop smoking and i replied, 'when i feel like it and i really don't feel like it.' my bank account is has positive numbers in it and my brain is in tune... but what is wrong is that my heart is broken and i unfortunately can not fix that on my own. so when thinking about resolutions... i'm pretty satisfied with the way things are with myself.
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