again.

by RudeNeighbor

after having a lenghty conversation with turk and gauge, they simply refuse to change their ways. they told me that they enjoy talking to the other dogs when they stroll by the windows and they are not going to stop... adolescents i tell ya!

same shit, different neighbor. what do these people expect me to do because euthanizing my pets is really the only way i see how to ' resolve this problem as soon as possible'. so in other words, go fuck yourself, neighbor.

all the things i want...

by Krystan

please, please, please tell me how much you love the office.

angels.

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. -Unknown

by KateFitzpatrick 

months after my SBJ passed away, i came across this quote and it touched me so deeply at the time because without my friends i would have had such a difficult time carrying on. and today, i still feel the same way. over the years i have been incredibly blessed with many special people who have come in and out of my life. i post this for every single one of those individuals and thank them from the depths of my soul. without you, i would not be the person i am today. i thank you for holding my hand, touching my soul, and loving my heart. i only hope i have you touched your lives with as much understanding, compassion, and gratuity as those who have touched mine. to you, i love you. and thank you.

staring.

we were all taught that staring is impolite and we should refrain from it when ever possible but i suppose i failed to go over that lesson with gauge. he has issues with staring. he will do it for hours if i let him. as i sit here on the sofa this very instant, he is standing in the middle of the living room staring at me... he has been doing it for about ten minutes now. long enough for me to snap a picture. i apologize for the quality.

all the things i buy...

my first purchase to share is this lovely photo from Holli Coonger out of Nashville. I found it on one of her three etsy stores, TheTypeJunkie's Shop.... i love that name! titled A Squared, it's an 11 x 11 print that I can not wait to find the perfect frame for... i'm thinking maybe some thing turquoise but weathered, with undertones of black and red. if only i made frames! 

visit.

with all the extended family drama going on, my parents have excused my sisters and i from family funeral duty. i could not be more pleased with their decision. if i don't have to put myself through the pain and heartache, please don't make me. there have been and will be times that i will not have a choice so this is a breath of fresh air. thank you mother and father.

and from a dreadful note to a high note...yay! sister no. 1 is coming to town for a day and she's leaving the little ones at home {whew!} but the two older ones are tagging along. can't wait to spend some QT with them! We will definitely be spending some time on and around the UT campus... Horns up!

by FleurdeStone

nervous.

by DogBoneArt

when things go round and round in my head, i write. for me it is like expressing the demons of my mind. now, i never said i was good or funny or prolific at writing. i'm just me. apparently some love that.... and obviously some do not. but this is the reason why i blog. until now i have not shared my blog with people who are close to me and i have done this for many reasons... the main reasons are as follows:

1. i want to be honest with myself. if i know there is a possibiliy that someone is reading this, i have a tendency to censor myself. i don't want y'all to think i'm crazy. which takes me to my next reason.

2. i don't want y'all to think i'm crazy. or worry. swampy said it best, " i don't want to read your blog and have to call you up and ask if you're cutting yourself again." by all means she was kidding but i know my friends love me and care for me and i don't want my peeps to worry.

3. i have been depressed on the inside for the past few month and my inner thoughts have not been happy and unfortunatly my inner thoughts explode here. therefore, who wants to read this crap... i know i wouldn't want to read some debbie downer blog about boys and bullshit.

so moving onward and upward!!!! i am finally sharing with others as of today... or tomorrow. there will be a few edits, of course, but not many. i read back over some post and there are some points that are pretty low so i'm quite nervous about putting it out there but i am secure enough in my own emotions to own them, afterall it is me! i only ask you not to judge.

and with that... i hope i've reached a turning point to add some sizzle to this place. some sunshine and some laughs!

liked.

by EmptyGeorge

today i feel like no one likes me. i sound like a total 4th grader, i know. but in the past 48 hours i've been dissed by old classmates from ten years ago, ignored by old friends, snubbed by new ones, and not defended by my confidant. my co-workers are acting strange. i think a girlfriend is irritated with me and there is a boy that i wouldn't mind if he called me. i miss that one person who i can talk to about everything and not be judged for anything. i feel i'm honest with people. and nice to people but i constantly question people's loyalty. i don't think alot of people know what it truly means be loyal. it scares me. i want to trust people, put my faith in them. but people are harsh for stupid reasons and it gets a little ridiculous. i'm just having an off day. later will be better. until then, i hope someone acts like they like me.

bullshitin'.

i am wanting nothing more than to grab a case a beer, a pack of cigarettes, a good friend and go hang out on someones patio or in someones backyard, forget about all the shit that's going on or has to be done and just talk about life and bullshit. no worries... just shoot the shit. *sigh*

by WishIWereHere

all the things i want...

the sweetest matchbooks i have ever seen!

by SusyJack*

sentiment.

the past few days have made me ponder the thought... 'is that TIME of the month approaching, already?' because i find my self discovering sentiments it the oddest of places. overall, i am emotional person. i'm very in tune with how i think and react to things in my everyday life and usually my reaction is rightfully warranted. but since last friday... it's been a uphill battle with getting through the day without being emotionally touched by the most random thing. now, i am not bitching. i appreciate when a song on the radio moves me, or a sky full of rolling clouds takes me breath away... but when it_is_every_little_thing, it becomes a bit exhausting.


by PearlGirl

saturday i spent the day huddled in the corner of my bathroom, bawling my eyes out and blowing my nose into a hand towel. why is it that we always find ourselves in the bathroom in times of emotional breakdowns? is it a safe place? can no one touch us there? i don't know why i do it... i have no one to hide from in my own home unless the dogs are all up in my face. but they have learned to watch the sobbing from at least a ten foot radius. they sit patiently until called on... they are such smart dogs. the emotional blabber fest that visited on saturday was maybe a delicate recipe of the approaching 2 year anniversary of my SBJ death, the looming feeling that i must return to a craptastic job after the weekend, the self loathing feeling that i am without an intimate relationship, and the best one of all... the amazing sense that i have made zero movement in my life in the past four years, if anything i have regressed. when do i get to stick my head above water. why do i feel like i am fighting a fight that no one else is? it seems like everyone is about money, status, what they have, where they are going... why does all that matter? what about the one thing that is yours, the one thing you can control, the one thing you can take with you... your soul. why don't we all concern ourselves with the inner workings of what make us the way we are? again, i feel like i am fighting a fight all on my own.

light bulb.

the light bulb in my closet went out... like a month ago. yet i have not changed it. why? because i am lazy. plain and simple.


by Scenicartisans

so this weekend, the cleaning bug bit me and i was off. doing loads and loads of laundry. dusting. vacuuming. carpet cleaning and attempting to change that damn light bulb. i grabbed the tallest thing in my apartment, which is a bar stool and started to climb. WTF! I'm too short. i can't reach the light bulb. the fist thought i have is 'if i had a man in my life, all i would have to do is ask him'. then... i emotionally fell apart.

moments like these are moments where i hate my situation. i get extremely angry that things in my life are no where near where i want them to be.

then.. i wiped the tears away, stopped feeling sorry for myself, and went to target to buy a step ladder.

dating.

i've never been good at dating. in high school i had a boyfriend for 2 years and when i wasn't with him, there was this one guy, who i was head over hills for. after high school, i meet The Fireman... who was not a fireman at the time but now is... and we were together for 3 years. I then left The Fireman to be with My SBJ, who i was with for 5 years, and we all know how that ended. After My SBJ passed away, I met Mr. T who devastatingly crushed my heart and my soul.

so now i have been left to survive the dating pool... a shallow yet crowd pool of fellows who have left me bored and annoyed. if i'm attracted to them, they have no job or not spunk. if they are witty and fun, i'm not physically attracted to them. and overall these guys are just not jazzy. not interesting. not exciting. i'm bored. it sucks. i'm out.

a trick on the eye.

I found these wall graphics yesterday online at Morden Wall Graphics. I have been daydreaming for the past two afternoons about pasting them all over my apartment but I think that may be a bit of over kill. Tonight I plan on sitting on the floor and imaging the perfect space for which ever one i pick.

happy new year... i guess.

for the past few weeks, i have put my head down and walked around as if not paying any attention that it was the beginning of a new year. to me, it was just another day. another lonely day... with more lonely days to follow. we are now 9 days into the year and i feel it is okay to come out of hiding and go on with normal business.

i did not,like most others, make any resolutions or plan on coming up with any new adventures. the ones i had last month are the ones i have today but with maybe one or two more steps accomplished. to make resolutions, i think you have to be unsatisfied with something in yourself and right now, i really don't feel that way. i lost 20 lbs in the last 4 months of last year. i accidentally picked up bikram yoga two weeks ago and it makes me feel pretty good. and i haven't had an appetite to eat much except when that monthly week comes around. a girlfriend asked when i would stop smoking and i replied, 'when i feel like it and i really don't feel like it.' my bank account is has positive numbers in it and my brain is in tune... but what is wrong is that my heart is broken and i unfortunately can not fix that on my own. so when thinking about resolutions... i'm pretty satisfied with the way things are with myself.